God will come in to Our Mess
I was practicing a method of prayer this morning…I believe it is borrowed from the Quakers and I heard about it in school this week. You breathe in for 7 seconds slowly and out for 7 seconds slowly…you can do it palms down on knees or palms up…and if you want, at the top of the inhale of the 7 seconds, you may hold your breath for a while. Ancients believed…and/or some desert fathers, that this is where God met them/you/us. At the quiet at the top of that inhale…in holding..in quiet. Today when I prayed, I felt the mess of my mind while I was still. The mess of doubt, the mess of fear, the mess of anxieties, the mess of noise and distraction, the mess of feeling like an frustrated child trying to do something new and finding…mess. But each time I arrived at the quiet place of ceasing to breathe and pausing for a moment, I had a sense…a first a little sense and then a bigger sense that God had come. God had come to my mess. Come in like One who loves and does not not seem remotely phased by the mess. “Sorry about the mess, I didn’t expect guests right now!” God, She will come and be with you in your mess. I believe this. She will come into our fear. He will come into our rage. She will come into our disbelief and cynicism. He will come into our disappointment. She will come into our “fuck you’s” and our “Whatever’s!” He will come into my mess of spaz-like nonsense. But a word of warning, God will mess with your mess and you may laugh with Her, or you may laugh at yourself, or you might find that you weep or rage…and that will be ok. It is ok. My place was a mess, and it was ok and I am glad I asked…because something quieter occurs, something different happens, something we cannot perhaps put words to or even SING about in that strange-oh so strange…visit. God will come in to your mess. No need to tidy or clean and no point really. Not now. Not today. Peace, Deb